Many people offer married advice to couples when they seem to be having problems. The trouble with offering advice to people is that not everyone is the same. Not every relationship is the same and in every partnership, there are a whole set of different expectations that may not fit into the equation of the advice that is being offered.
When people think that they have the story straight, they believe that they are in the position to offer advice on how to fix the problem. Communication is a funny thing. What one person thinks they hear may not be at all what the other person said. If this is the case, than the advice is merely offered based on the information at hand.
Often what one person in the marriage believes to be true isn't at all what is really happening. Or, the story that they are understanding may not be accurate, but it appears to be a certain way. Couples often have trouble communicating because they listen in different ways and both of them process information differently. This can leave a relationship wide open for miscommunicating.
Sometimes it is best to not listen to advice at all. Friends and family will offer it all the time, and there is no reason to be rude. One can listen, act appreciative, then let it go in one ear and out the other. Any kind of advice is situational and only based on past experiences. Some could actually hurt the relationship more than it will help simply because it does not apply correctly to the marriage at hand.
Consider also, that when friends explain how something happens in their relationship, they are explaining it and describing it from their point of view. It may not be accurate information, but to them, it's the truth, and it works. This is also something that is working for this particular relationship and may not have the same affect on others.
Every relationship is different, just as different as the two people sharing it. Relationships are a combination of the people in it, their experiences, their weaknesses and strengths, their taking and givings, and all the other little things that individual people are made up of. All of this is brought to a relationship that is now shared with another.
A one sided point of view is never a good place to start from, or to offer advice. Each marriage has its own dynamics and the answer is not always easily accessible. There is no one solution that is written in a book that will be the end all answer to a good marriage.
Every relationship is special, unique and different from others on many levels. The all need to be nurtured and validated. They need to be built on trust and kindness and always be a safe place for each person to be in. Everyone will have an opinion of what you should do, but in the end, the two of you are in charge of what happens within your own marriage. People will offer married advice but it is up to the two involved as to whether they will take it.
When people think that they have the story straight, they believe that they are in the position to offer advice on how to fix the problem. Communication is a funny thing. What one person thinks they hear may not be at all what the other person said. If this is the case, than the advice is merely offered based on the information at hand.
Often what one person in the marriage believes to be true isn't at all what is really happening. Or, the story that they are understanding may not be accurate, but it appears to be a certain way. Couples often have trouble communicating because they listen in different ways and both of them process information differently. This can leave a relationship wide open for miscommunicating.
Sometimes it is best to not listen to advice at all. Friends and family will offer it all the time, and there is no reason to be rude. One can listen, act appreciative, then let it go in one ear and out the other. Any kind of advice is situational and only based on past experiences. Some could actually hurt the relationship more than it will help simply because it does not apply correctly to the marriage at hand.
Consider also, that when friends explain how something happens in their relationship, they are explaining it and describing it from their point of view. It may not be accurate information, but to them, it's the truth, and it works. This is also something that is working for this particular relationship and may not have the same affect on others.
Every relationship is different, just as different as the two people sharing it. Relationships are a combination of the people in it, their experiences, their weaknesses and strengths, their taking and givings, and all the other little things that individual people are made up of. All of this is brought to a relationship that is now shared with another.
A one sided point of view is never a good place to start from, or to offer advice. Each marriage has its own dynamics and the answer is not always easily accessible. There is no one solution that is written in a book that will be the end all answer to a good marriage.
Every relationship is special, unique and different from others on many levels. The all need to be nurtured and validated. They need to be built on trust and kindness and always be a safe place for each person to be in. Everyone will have an opinion of what you should do, but in the end, the two of you are in charge of what happens within your own marriage. People will offer married advice but it is up to the two involved as to whether they will take it.
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