vineri, 31 mai 2013

By David D. Quinn


To start anew after somebody has committed an affair isn't a simple task. It takes so much forgiveness, understanding, and trust to start all over again. It is hard to imagine living with somebody who betrayed you, who promised to love you until the end, just to find out that there is someone new or a third party.

Here are the tips from a marriage counseling video regarding how to forgive and move on with your relationship for a stronger and happier married life:

* Stop the affair.

This is the first thing you should do to save the marriage. This means total cut-off from the third party. No more physical contact, no more e- mail, no more texting, and no more other forms of communication available around you.

* Give the emotional needs of your spouse.

Most of the time, the unresponsiveness of the spouse is the major culprit on why marital affairs exist. You try to get an emotional support or connection that your partner isn't giving you. You feel misunderstood, unloved, and unappreciated by your partner.

In the marriage counseling video, you'll learn that by not losing the connection, you could affair-proof your marriage. Try your best to be very supportive of one another. Show and express how much you love and need each other.

* Accept responsibilities.

It takes two to tango, as the saying goes, so if the spouse commits a transgression, then you need to also look into yourself and ask why your partner has committed this act. As mentioned earlier, quite often it's the lack of support and understanding, so be honest with each other and try to rethink on how you're treating each other in terms of giving emotional support.

* Learn how to ask for forgiveness.

Sincerely ask for forgiveness and do it wholeheartedly. Show your spouse that you really mean it and that you are willing to do everything to be forgiven. In the marriage counseling video, you will learn that the most effective way to ask for forgiveness is by accepting your mistakes.

* Respect the time needed to heal.

This is for the aggrieved party. It is not easy to give forgiveness, more so if it involves a marital affair. The insecurities and the betrayal that the injured party is feeling cannot be erased right away. It takes time to heal and move on and you have to freely give that to your injured spouse.

* Improve your marriage.

From the marriage counseling video, you will learn that after all the hurdles and the storms of an extra-marital affair; your marriage would even come out stronger. Why? Because the moment you ask for forgiveness and it is given to you, then you as a couple can move on and start fresh again. You will learn so much from the bad experience and work on your marriage. Both of you can reflect on what really went wrong and do your best to work on your faults.

In marriage counseling, tips are given on how to start all over again after an extra marital affair. It's not easy but if you work on it together, then you'd come out even stronger.




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